Rants part one

 Surfing through the internet, i realised that there were certain poems i had written in my DELSU days, that were actually rants. I railed against everything then....LOL... i was a real mess then. These are some of my really warped works. They will tell a tale and they are nothing like my present works. I will deliver two each week until exhausted. The rants are usually quite lengthy, so you have to bear with me. Read at your own mental peril. Please these poems were written at a difficult time in my life, so please be gentle. Gracias.

CONFUSION

My feelings explode into a thousand myriads

I am back again. The sorrowful bard

With his lines and rhymes that are weak and sad.

I come from the elementary roots of my progenitors,

Replying to the deep rallies of my generation.

I have come to keep a date with time and fate,

To use those powers I consider desperate

In the initiation of my fight with fate.

In faith, I repeat my estimate

Of life’s numerous forbidden conjectures

That makes the junction

The beginning of confusion,

Because the paths connection

Is twisted in desperation.

I for one, with temptation

At my abode, loses function

In my correspondence and initiations

In life’s numerous forbidden thought creation.

I have wrestled with despair

In my source, raw and vital.

I have conquered and overran

Seduction of the mind deep in the

Artificial high created by narcotic inhibition.

I have changed schools of thought

Several times, still searching for the truth.

(This poem is as bulky as it can get)

In the origin of my being, I despair

Of salvation in order to repair

And bring my name to bear

In matters so dear

Special in context and fair

In short, truly fair.

Time rushes in a hurry,

I try to do all in a flurry,

Just to be caught in a gaping story.

My mouth is shut,

I am back in my origin

And return intact.

THE PAIN

Shadows lengthen as the day draws

Like a baby savouring the sweetness of

Catarrh in its nostrils, it draws.

I am lost as the shadows of rough

Nights falling like a veil covering the future.

Protection I deserve, I have not.

Run away from the tent into the rain.

Forget typhoid, cold, malaria but

Remember immune deficiency syndrome

In its unforgiving reign as king.

Pieces of life fall like broken glass

As my conscience plays Hamlet on my mind.

But having read little or nothing in classes,

I relax in contented arrogance

With fear and forbidden corruption in reign.

Depression convolutes my being,

The hands of the clock has turned

Full circle, it has turned. Hidden

Between sheets of lies, I lay, burnt

By the very truths I hold sacred.

Corrupted is my soul

Not fit for companionship.

I have been a useful tool.

In front of the t-junction

I have stood, yet the wrong path I took.

My confusion comes later

When my materialistic being has

Been laid to rest, rather

Than letting it rot in front as they pass;

Mourners, onlookers to see my corpse.

I die, but I have died before now.

A thousand times I have died to bow

To the evils that pervades the sanctity

Of my inner sanctum, all desecrated. What a pity!